Healing Journeys: Stories of Resilience and Growth for Teens in Counseling
As a therapist who cares deeply and has a passion for providing teenagers in regard to coping with the difficulties that life may bring their way, I am privileged to see incredible transformations that teen therapy has brought to the lives of young people.
I wanted to take a closer look at just how social media, self-image, and a lack of connection impact teens and how an informed, caring approach to teen therapy can bring positive outcomes, hope and change. The experiences shared in this post reflect those of several of our therapists who work with teens and adolescents.
The Paradox of Connection and Isolation: A Teen's Story of Growth
A teenage client who walked in the door at Elevated Counseling & Wellness described feeling torn between the sense of connection she experienced online and the paradoxical underlying feelings of isolation. These feelings of isolation often felt inescapable, even though she found herself more "connecting" to new people every day. Those numbers of "friends" on social media and in her list of contacts grew rapidly, and so did her tendencies to isolate.
She was able to explore that paradox, that sense of feeling torn, in therapy. Working with her therapist, she gained crucial insights: 1) the meaning of true connection does not lie within a vast number of friends and followers, but actually hinges on in-person interaction, and, 2) the ability to accept herself as she is in reality, not as she presents herself through the distortions of a Snapchat filter. Now, she has formed a much more balanced relationship with social media and her online self, building quality, face-to-face connections that enrich her life and bolster her self-esteem by simply allowing herself to be vulnerable and authentic, with realistic expectations around her looks and her life.
The Influence of Social Media: Redefining Self-Worth
Speaking of social media and its impact on teenagers self worth, a young man (I'll call him Alex for the purpose of this post) embarked on a journey that perfectly demonstrates the negative impact that social media can have on a person's self-worth.
Alex felt some immense pressures of looking "perfect", and projecting a "perfect life" with his photos and posts. His posting routine had become habitual, and he found himself concerned more about when he could engage with social media than he was almost any other thing in his life; friends, family, work, and school. With predictable results, he experienced increasingly intrusive feelings of not being good looking enough, thin enough, and a growing obsession with comparing every facet of his life to others. Those comparisons rarely resulted in him looking at himself kindly, or with any hint of nuance or compassion.
In therapy, we worked to with Alex to help him understand how self-compassion and realistic expectations are the necessary conditions for healthy engagement on social media. Alex also learned that prioritizing his mental well-being over seeking validation from others could bring about a balanced relationship with social media. Now, Alex uses social platforms as tools for connection and personal growth rather than sources of comparison and self-scrutiny.
Self-Image and Identity Development: Celebrating Individuality
Identity development is one of the major themes of adolescence. Most teenagers are challenged by issues of self-image and self-worth, and this is something that "Michael" expressed in his teen therapy. He believed that in order to feel safe and to simply fit in at school, he had to forgo expressions of who he truly was.
This is where Michael has been able to learn the value of embracing the differences that make him Michael, and therefore celebrating his uniqueness. Working closely with a compassionate and experienced therapist has been extremely helpful to Michael. Through self-exploration and exercises around self-compassion, he has been able to confidently walk through many pressures of life with a profound respect for individuality and authenticity. He accepts himself and goes through life with definite purposes. His time in therapy and his bravery worked to help him embrace his uniqueness and to truly see it for what it is: a gift.
Empowering Teens Through Hope and Connection
If your teen has the desire to strive for genuine and deep connection through personalized interventions, evidence-based practices, compassionate therapy, and guidance, we have the desire to meet them where they are in that process and to hep them see that hope is possible and available to them. Every teen has a story with potential and resilience waiting to be unlocked. As therapists at Elevated Counseling & Wellness, we are here to empower that potential and resilience in therapy. With hope, empathy, and the belief that everything they carry within themselves can be nurtured, explored, highlighted, and strengthened teens have the opportunity to live more connected and fulfilling lives.
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